Miami Vegan Blog

Monday, July 23, 2007

Justin Timberlake - Serving up [S]troke & [H]eart Attack

Justin Timberlake opens a new restaurant called [S]outhern [H]ospitality in NYC, serving greasy macaroni and cheese, shrimp, ribs and catfish. Carcass du jour. They actually used the term "pulled pork". Sick!

Why can't people open up health food restaurants? Poor New Yorkers. Didn't they just ban trans fats in restaurants? Everyone knows that Southern food can kill you. He's thin so you know he doesn't eat this crap! I won't lie, my parents are Southern. I was fed this stuff before I was enlightened through veganism. Just a waste of celebrity status to promote ill-health. Think of all the pot-bellies and indigestion these dishes will cause, all for a buck. People should think of the trail of consequences their ventures will leave. Nobody thinks of that these days. Nobody thinks of the animals slaughtered to fill these plates, because the blood is washed away, from their bodies and our memories. Not me, I always remember.

[Sample Menu]
Macaroni & Cheese: rotting curdled milk, drained butterfat, pasta made from eggs stolen from chickens who will later become nuggets or hot wings anyway.

BBQ Ribs: chest walls of male steer broken in half and softened by sitting in a steamer because the muscle meat is too hard, then charred on a grill.

BBQ Baby Back Ribs: chest walls of baby calves already soft due to fatigue and malnutrition, also charred on a grill.

Catfish: Fish caught by lodging a hook in their mouths after being baited by shrimp or other dead fish, slammed against the wall to kill, ripped opened, insides removed, scales ripped off, heads cut off, skinned and fried.

Shrimp: Small shelled crustaceans, heads chopped off, veins pulled out (sometimes), legs ripped off and boiled or fried.

Sausage: All parts of a pig (scraps), ground up and formerly shoved into a pig's intestines for casing and boiled, fried or baked.

Enjoy!

A nice gesture: All the wood in the restaurant came from New Orleans trees uprooted by Hurricane Katrina ... ok ...

Click [here] to watch the video of him giving a reporter a tour of the restaurant.